Musings On Marriage

In four days I say "I Do" and I feel... confused.

Why?

Well, I guess it's that getting married is not what I expected.

Marriage is, after all, intangible. It is an idea. A label.

Becoming the wife of the man I love won't change how I feel about him, surely. He's already my best friend, my person (or soulmate, if you prefer). How will a certificate from town hall make any difference?

This is a question I've been asking myself since we began talks of our future together.

I knew, without a doubt, that I wanted to marry him. But why?

Was it societal norms, pushing me to conform? The media? The chance to throw a big party?

Somehow, as an introvert who rebels against social norms on a daily basis, I don't think any of those are the answer.

Then is it the legal rights? The knowledge that I will be the first person they call if anything were to happen? That I will be able to make decisions for him and take care of him if he can't take care of himself?

Sure, that's definitely part of it. My need to protect the love of my life is strong. But is it just practicality?

The idea of committing to each other forever appeals to me, but we've already done that a thousand times.

Is is different to do it in front of family and friends? To share our love with them rather than making promises in private?

No matter how many aspects of marriage I analyze, I can't quite get to the bottom of the strong urge and overwhelming excitement I feel about saying "I do."

It just feels right. It feels like the ultimate "I love you." The confirmation of every promise to care for, protect, love, support, cherish, and respect him until the day I die.

And that's all the answer I need.